Post season Fantasy

$25 per roster. You must fill out the roster below using 1 person from each team. You know how this works and anyone can play if you know those who are interested. All rosters must be in before the first game.

2 QB
3 RB
4 WR
1 TE
K
D

Good luck to everyone except Timmy, Matt, and Steeeeeeeeeeve!

I Hate The Melinson Brothers!

Yes, they won the points total, yes they won the Fantasy Bowl, they even won the Consolation Bowl. Matt and Timmy took down Sqrl and the Bachelor to claim all the top prizes. Yuck!

So, now we have to pay these rat bastards. Here is who owes and who doesn't. Most of the money can be mailed to 8016 Colfax Street.

Keep in mind the league fee is $160 this year since we are all giving $10 to fight spinobiphida.

Winners

Kyle Jr. - $120 Courtesy of $10 from all owners.

Matt - $873 ($900 for Fantasy Bowl and Points Title - $160 + $83 for moves + $50 for Jones Drew Bet)

Timmy +$180 ($350 for Consolation Bowl and 2nd place points - $10 moves - $160)

Pat +$86 ($250 Fantasy Bowl Loser - $4 moves - $160 fee)

Sqrl +$10 ($100 3rd place points - $30 moves - $50 Jones Drew Bet)

Owers

Dtz - $110 ($160 fee - $50 for Toilet Bowl)
Kaner $162 ($2 moves)
Fudd - $160
Bill $168 ($8 moves)
Steve $168 ($8 moves)
Crane $163 ($3 moves)
Hagz $176 ($16 moves)
Prev $162 ($2 moves)

Feel free to take your time paying and if you want Matt said he would prefer to pick ut up at your house instead of you spending the money on stamps to mail it. He's nice like that.

Fantasy and Toilet Bowl

As much as it pains me to type this, Matt will be playing in the Fantasy Bowl. He faces his nemesis, The Bachelor! Pat already took the title away from Matt a few years ago when he got Freddy Taylor in a trade for some magic beans. I'd like to see Pat repeat that little bit of history.

Ernie Jones plays me in the Consolation bowl and since we are only a point apart in the total points race, second place is on the line as well.

Dtz takes on Kaner in the toilet bowl and the rest of you suck.

Merry Christmas!

So Long, Suckers

Great season, Steve, Bill, Prev, and Crane...not! Pay up, your run has ended!

As for the rest of you, here are the matchups...

I get the pleasure of making Matt a one-and-done team in the playoffs.
Pat is going up against the Ernie Jones Jugger...not!
Fudd probably doesn't even know he advance (sucks for Steve) and will face off against Kaner.
And Hagan gets his shot in the Poopy bowl against Cheatin' Dtz.

Is Steve eliminated? Oh right, he is. Well then, good luck to all of you...except Matt!

Playoffs

Here are the playoff Matchups and seeds.

1) Ernie Jones (Bye)
2) Hey, Matt! (Bye)
3) Sqrl
4) Bachelor Has tie breaker over Mike since he beat him in regular season)
5) Mean Hands
6) Teacher

The mighty morphin' power midgets battle and Pat plays Crane. The Melinson brothers have to wait a week for their defeat.

Toilet Bowl

1) Kaner (Bye) Tie-breaker over Hags, since he beat him during Regular season
2) Hags (bye)
3)Nippler - Tie-breaker over Dtz, since he beat him during Regular season
4) Dtz
5) Prev
6) Fudd

Steve plays Fudd (good luck to Fudd) and Prev plays with Dtz's penis. Kaner and Hags have to wait around another week for this stupid thing to be over.

Now that all of that crap is out of the way, enjoy some stupid posts below...

Crane Kicks it in Hawaii

In case you didn't know, it was Mean Hands' B-Day a few weeks ago (also sqrl's, Matt's, and EJones'). He decided to spend some quiet time in Hawaii with Dawn. One day they came across a secluded beach. Dawn was appalled and went home. Mike spent the rest of the vacation on this beach. Here is a pic.

New Secret Weapon...Teacher!

The Eagles have a new play for 4th and short...

Andy Reid has decided to sign a "little person" named William "Teacher" Russell. Now McNabb can line up in shotgun formation on short yardage plays while holding "little Bill," take a shotgun snap, hand the ball to "little Bill," then fling him over the offensive and defensive lines into the end zone. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Philadelphia Eagles!

Behind the Lines

The Betting lines, that is. I'm sure most of you, if not all of you had a wager on some of these games. And I'm sure Heather McCloskey has a black eye as a result of some of these outcomes. Here are the 7 biggest NFL betting miracle spread covers.

All right, it's finally time to discuss last week's "Troy Polamalu Game" and its ranking on the "Alcoa's Greatest Football Gambling Moments" list. I batted it around with an eight-man committee of buddies, and we came up with the following top seven moments from the past 25 years:

1. The Music City Miracle: The hidden great thing about the winning TD: Tennessee was giving 5, and the miracle TD gave the Titans a 21-16 lead. With only a few seconds remaining, you'd think they would have gone for two so they could lead by a touchdown, right? NOOOOOOOOO! They kicked the extra point to go up six. What's the difference between five and six? I have no idea. Nobody remembers this. Greatest and most inexplicable extra-point kick ever.

2. The Polamalu Game: At least 700 readers e-mailed me Sunday after the Miracle Cover That Wasn't to say either, "I thought of you as soon as it happened!" or "You have to write about this!" Apparently, I am the go-to columnist for any watershed gambling event. And honestly, I couldn't be prouder. The great thing was that you were either euphoric-then-furious or furious-then-euphoric, but either way, everyone with gambling/fantasy interests swung from one end of the pendulum to the other in five minutes. Amazing.

3. Adam Vinatieri's Two-Point Run: A forgotten Monday night moment from 1999, when the Pats were 3.5-point favorites and scored a controversial go-ahead TD as time expired. The Bills left the field in protest, only the Pats still had to kick the extra point … so Vinatieri joyously ran it in against the first 0-0-0 defense as Pete Carroll pumped his fist and reacted like a guy who would definitely be coaching college in two years. Final score: Pats 25, Bills 21.

4. The Ronnie Harmon Game: Back in 1990, the Browns hosted a wild-card game against Buffalo as 3.5-point favorites. Buffalo cut it to four with four minutes left, only Buffalo's kicker (I won't say his name) missed the extra point. Egads. Buffalo's D got the ball back, then Jim Kelly drove the Bills down the field before Ronnie Harmon dropped the game-winning TD with 14 seconds left and Kelly got picked on the final play. That was the first season I started gambling. I had the Browns. I was hooked.

5. The Rulon Jones Safety: Denver up three and giving 4.5 in the '86 playoffs, less than two minutes to play, the Pats had one last chance … and Jones sacked Tony Eason in the end zone for the back-breaking cover. The worst part was that Eason turtled. In the end zone.

6. The Monday Night Miracle: Miami takes a 23-point lead into the fourth quarter, but then Vinny Testaverde and the Jets score 30 points in the fourth and win the game in OT, 40-37. I'm 99 percent sure that they were favored by three, and it ended up being the greatest push in NFL history.

7. The Tamarick Vanover Game: A Monday night game from '95 that … well, allow one of my friends to explain. Here's his unedited memory of the Vanover Game:

"Chargers up four, getting between 3.5 and 5.5 points, inside K.C.'s 10, less than two minutes left. The Chargers have three bad plays, kick a short field goal. Up seven, we'll say up 12 with spread. [Steve] Bono drives the Chiefs down the field (1:12 remaining) with maybe one timeout (they used them on defense), throws an 18-yard touchdown pass with 15 seconds to go. Overtime, still up five with spread.

"[Stan] Humphries knocked out, in comes [Gale] Gilbert. Chargers punt after having a big play negated by a penalty, Vanover (with multiple guys around him) doesn't call for a fair catch. AVOIDS 3 GUYS AND THE CHARGER PUNTER WHO LOOKED LIKE HE HAD THE ANGLE AND GOES 86 YARDS. CHIEFS WIN BY 6.

Prev is Everywhere!

I love Prev, I really do. He is one of the best guys we know...when he is sober!

Anyone who is a friend of Prev's has at one time or another carried his drunk-ass home or found his drunk0ass passed out somewhere strange. My bathroom is no exception. So, rooting through the archives, I found these pictires of Prev and his crazy pass-out antics. Enjoy.

Filemaker development

Phinally!

Yeah, we can talk about Brandon Marshall, Jones-Drew, Halloween outfits, science fairs, hating dtz, Pat's wedding, etc. But, let's forget that stuff for a week and enjoy some quality Phillies time!

Phillie's Wives

I know Heather Barry is the hottest girl Steve knows, but she doesn't make the cut for this list. Ms. Barry Aside, which Phillie has the hottest WAG (wife and girlfriend). You tell me. Vote away.

MICHELLE BURELL
KIM MYERS

KAREN MOYER (MILF)

JEN UTLEY

HEIDI HAMMELS

HEIDI DOBBS

ERIN ROMERO

Emiko Taguchi

CRYSTAL DURBIN

St Louis IT Company

10 More Days Until Halloween

Moose A Moose

No reason for this, but felt like posting it.

I Earn My Keep

A lot of you may think being the commissioner of the SQFFL is easy. I mean we have a web site that does everything. Scores, lineups, moves. You thought wrong. Here is a typical email I get from Matt on any given week...

Three things to notice here

1. The entire move is crammed in the subject line and yet there is nothing in the actual email.


2. He can put the move in himself via the website, but he emails me on a Wednesday.


3. The move barely makes sense.

But wait, there's more... After I break his balls and tell him to put the move in himself through the site, he does. But his email is so confusing, even to himself, he puts the move in wrong. He picks up the wrong Defense. Then I get this email the next day...

Again notice a few things.

1. Nothing in the body of the email
2. The actual email text in the subject line
3. He put the move in wrong himself since the emails are so confusing
4. Then, he doesn't make the switch via the site. Again, he sends it to me

As if that isn't enough, I get these kinds of text messages from him to...

if i dont call you by gametime tomorrow pls pick up randel el (was) (backup lance moore no) and drop anthony not tony gonzalez and start antwoine (or sir lancelot) - 90% plus i;ll call you to confirm

WTF?!

Seriously, don't ever say I don't work as commissioner.

Something Cool

Click here.

Matt's Glasses

The results are in. We found Matt's glasses. Guess where....

Science Fair Pic of the Week

How many of these things are there?!

Bobby's Betting Blog

As you already know, I didn't blog last week. I have been doing well this year with the blogging. Better than last year, but every once in a while, I'm going to miss a week. Hopefully it won't be a lot.

In the meantime, if you're Ernie Jonesing for blog material, Bobby Mzzzzttss has a betting blog you may want to check out. He's got some crazy formula for picking NFL games, so check it out, learn a thing or two, and then give Halla Back H a ring.

http://nflbestbets.blogspot.com/

Pat's Honeymoon Pics

Kelly takes a quick smoke break at the beach. Looks like the honeymoon was a blast!

Science Fair Picture of the Week

Keep 'em coming, Bill. Keep 'em coming.

And the Winner is...

Wow, we have a tie. Probably because only two fags voted. I'm guessing it was Dtz and Bill picking each other. Get a room, guys!

Don't forget to vote this week!

Halloween Contest

With Halloween around the corner and the Nippler lurking in the shadows, I thought we'd have a contest for the best Halloween costume. No, I don't want snapshots of Steeeeve in his squashed pumpkin suit (Everyone downstairs for dancing!)

I want pics from the world wide web. Funny pics, gross pics, etc. Send me the good stuff. Send me the link to the pic or the pic itself. I know you all get those weird Halloween emails. Send them to me and I'll use them on the blog.

By the way, here is Prev's costume from last year.

5 TD's Until Halloween

If you left multiple TD's on your bench, raise your hand. Two words for Matt and Dtz, Ha and Ha!

I am so in their heads. I make fun of Larry Johnson, and Dtz starts him every week. I know he only starts him to show me up. How is that working? Larry Johnson = 2 points. Dtz leaves Matt Forte on the bench. A good RB on a GOOD team. Forte has 2 TD's and a shitload of yards. None of it counts. Couldn't happen do a nicer guy.

Wait, it gets worse. Matt leaves THREE TD's on his bench. DeAngelo Williams hits the endzone three times and Matt gets zero of those points. Wait, check that. He gets a few pitiful points from Jones-Drew. Why does he start Jones Drew over Williams? Because I make fun of him every week and he wants to show me up.

By the way, Matt lost by 6 points. I own these guys!

SQFFL gives Back

As you know, the SQFFL league fee is $150 which all goes to prize money. However, this year we are bumping it up to $160. You don't have a choice in the matter. Neither do I.

The $150 is still going to the prize pool, but the extra $10 per owner is going somewhere better. We are going to donate $120 to a great cause. The battle against Spina Bifida. The donation will be made in Kyle Jr.'s name.

As Kurt said in his email (which I'll paste below), Kyle is a great guy. He's part of the SQFFL forever, whether he has a team or not. And we always take care of our own.

Please feel free to make your own contributions as well (I know I will). I know $1o is not much, but every little bit helps. See Kurt's email for more details...

What's up,
I hope everyone is doing well and are happy and healthy. As you all know Kyle's son was diagnosed with spina bifida before he was born but with many operations, physical therapy, love and prayers he is doing great. He is able to crawl around, pull himself up and has new braces that help him walk around with a litte walker. He is able to talk a little and never stops smiling or laughing. Baby Kyle, now 18 months old is doing fantastic and I think that it would be great if we could get a bunch of people to go to this benefit or maybe donate some money towards the event even if you can not make it. Kyle would never ask anyone for anything and would give his last dollar to help any of us out. Let me or Kyle and Christi now if you can attend. Hopefully we can have a great showing and it would be fun for all of us to get together when our lives do not allow us to do so since we have responsibilities in life like jobs and kids. What happened to the old days.
Kurt

Pat's Honeymoon

Since we showed some pics of Pat's wedding, it's only fair we show some of his honeymoon in Wildwood. Pat, you look great in a Speedo and Kelly is slammin' in that bikini!

Get A Job, Hotdog!

Kyle, it's been long enough. With another kid on the way, you really need to get your ass off the couch and stop watching WSOP reruns. I found the perfect place for you, Sexy Eater...

Nippler Jr.

"Heather! Where is my Nippler Costume?! It have crimes to commit!"

"How should I know? You had it last when you tried to kill the newest SQFFL member Ernie Jones...and failed...again!"

"Woman! You do not realize who you are messing with!"

"Whatever! Ashton, Aiden, everyone downstairs for diiinnnneeeeerrrr!"

"Just wait until I find my costume! I will kill all the SQFFL Owners! All of-"

"Steeeeevvvveeee! I found your suit. Ashton has it!"

Vote or Die, Homo!

What a bunch of homo's! The winner of last weeks poll...I'd still do Bill. Wow. All I can say is wow. Okay fine, I admit it. I voted to do Bill as well.

Then that got my wondering. Gun to your head....vote on that!

Where are my Glasses?

They're on your head, Matt. And guess what, that fifty dollars you have in your pocket, that's as good as mine.

Matt did have a good week this week, I'll give him that. However of those 74 points guess how many came from Mo Jones Drew...One stinkin' point. And how did Marshall do? Yet another TD and a slew of yards.

Two words, Matt. Ha Ha!

Science Fair Pick of the Week.

Keep crankin' them out, Teacher!

Riding the Pine!

Guess who didn't start Ronnie Brown this week! Two words, Dtz...Ha Ha! Life doesn't get any sweeter than that. Possibly the best fantasy peformance in history and it doesn't count. Yes!

Wedding of the Year

Had a few more pics of Pat's wedding left over. Enjoy!