Pat's Bachelor Party

We've had pictures from Pat's Wedding, and we've had pics from Pat's Honeymoon, so it's only fair we see pics from Pat's Bachelor Party. IT WAS AWESOME!

Special thanks to Timmy Melinson for rounding up the hotties!!!

What's in a Name?

Kurzy cried last week because he couldn't change his team name. As savvy veteran SQFFL'ers, you know the deal on that. You have to EARN your name. Man, the guy has been in the league like 5 minutes and he's already a pain.

John, maybe you should worry more about your team scoring the lowest points for the week instead of your team name. Last place - you can take Fudd out of the team, but not the team out of Fudd (or something like that). I'm just glad the Nippler was brilliant enough to get Johns' money first. (By the way, that's the only time you'll see me use brilliant and Nippler in the same sentence).

Speaking of Nippler, there's a guy who earned Philadelphia SEO his name. It only took four short stories. John you want to just "make up a name"? I don't think so. Guess what we'll do it for you...by vote.

So please vote on John's new name.

In the meantime, here are some "unrelated" videos. And you MUST check out the last one. Must. Scroll down, it's worth it.

Top Ten Reasons I Hate Bill Russell

10. He's Taller than me
9. His Penis is Redder than Mine (But not bigger!)
8. Last time we played strip poker, he poked my wife (literally!)
7. He caught me at the 1-yard line that time (You know when!)
6. When we lived together he never cuddled with me afterwards.
5. He passed out in Bloomsberg and left us at the party.
4. I hate anyone John "Cranky" McGuire hates.
3. I can't defend against his atomic flying burrito.
2. He drafted 8 kickers.
1. He kicked my ass this week.

By the way, if you forgot what Bill looks like, I snapped a picture of him last week at the Eagles Game.

Our Defending Chump

Just to prove that lasy year was a Fluke and that Matt is a shadow of the owner he was in the 90's, his quest to defend his only SQFFL title in the last 10 years started out just as I thought it would...lame.

Admittedly, Matt stepped in platypus crap last year with some luck draft picks. That ain't happenin' this year. Don't believe me? Here are the teams Matt's players hail from...

KC
Cinci
SF
Oak
Sea
TB

Seriously?! Players from those last place teams? Yup. That's how you win championships. Drafting unproven QB's with sprained MCL's on bad teams because you think the guy he will throw to is still there even though that guy was traded. Seriously, Matt, when did you fall apart so bad.

Like his favorite player Jerry Rice, Matt doesn't know when to retire. So sad...

By the way, it serves you right for getting 0 points from your defense. That's what you get for starting the Cowboys...traitor!

Update Number Zero

The rosters are in, but it wasn't easy. I had a really hard time with Matt's roster. No, not because there was any difficulties with CBS, but because my computer couldn't stop laughing.

My laptop started to giggle when I tried to enter Matt's fullback.

"Seriously?"
"Yes."
"A fullback?"
"Yes!"
"You're kidding. Someone drafted a fullback in a fantasy football league?"
"Just do it, I'm in a rush!"
"You're just messing with me"
"Do it!"

It went on like that for 10 minutes before it finally let me enter the player...that is until Cassell

"Now I know you're fucking with me."
"Come on, this is for real. I have other shit to do. I just got some new Spidey comics in the mail."
"Tell me your kidding. A QB from the worst team in the league who isn't even starting for 4 weeks."
"Can you just-"

Then he laughed like Crane for 40 minutes. I had to mute the volume on my computer so I wouldn't get in trouble at work.

Other than that issue, the rosters are all in. I would double check my work, though. I have a track record of screwing with people. Speaking of which...

Bill I went and did you a favor and entered your starting roster. No need to check it, it's good. No problem, little guy (giggle)

Also, Mike and Tim's roster is set. They are starting Santanio Holmes from the Tennessee Vikings as well as San DiAgo defense. And Matt is still starting Drew BleSdoe.

We also welcome Johnny Kurz to the league. John, click here.

That's it for now, full updates after the season starts. Also, if you have some good pictures, links, etc. send them over. Any material is good blog material. See you in the funny papers!

Sqrl