Stick to basketball, Matt. It's time to retire from Fantasy Football. It's bad enough you lost to Fudd last week and his all star squad consisting of Vernon Davis, Mark Clayton, and LJ Smith, bit this week's performance against me was pitiful. When your best player is a Dallas Cowboy Quarterback who sits on your bench, it's a sign.
You had some good years back in the early nineties, but like your favorite draft pick, Jerry Rice, you've overstayed your welcome. I mean, come on! The only person you can beat up on is Kyle? That's too easy. Even Teacher slaps him around week after week. Throw away your shoulder pads (yes, even the knee pads) and go inflate your balls (basket balls that is). Stick to the hardwood, leave the Fantasy Football to the professionals. I own you.
Love and Kisses,
The New Ivyland Mayor
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